Hi all,
We're changing blog address so everyone can write comments without having to register with Google first. New adress is:
http://hoffrox.wordpress.com
söndag 15 mars 2009
fredag 13 mars 2009
Pics!
Finally some pics! (See more on Mariel's Facebook page.)
Mona, Mariel's mom, and Talila
David, Mariel's older brother & Talila
Mariel's younger sister Victoria with Talila
Super-Baby with her Dad
Talila in comfort
Mona, Mariel's mom, and Talila
David, Mariel's older brother & Talila
Mariel's younger sister Victoria with Talila
Super-Baby with her Dad
Talila in comfortsöndag 8 mars 2009
Cool!
10:50 pm
Today i biked with Talila for the first time! We were invited to some friends for dinner today, another family with 2 small children with another coming any day now. So on the spur of the moment, i thought, hey, let's bike there! They live about 20 minutes away by bike. So we did. I put T in the sling, zipped up my jacket and off we went. No problem, she slept the whole way.
It was pretty neat when we arrived there, 'cause we could show them first-hand about Natural Infant Hygiene. Talila soon woke up after the bike ride and i held her over the bathroom sink, said "psss" and she peed! Our hosts were impressed.
Cool nr 3: Just 2 hours ago i caught my first poop!
It's been pretty easy to catch certain pees but i have felt alot less sure about the poops.
Well, Talila was lying on my lap lengthwise, and then she started flailing with her arms and legs just a little more than usual. It suddenly occurred to me that she may need to poop. Whipped out the little bowl we have for this, held her in position and gave the cueing "Psss" sound. Nothing. Put her back on the diaper on my lap. Very soon i once again had the feeling "She's gonna poop!" It was quite strong this time although i couldn't explain how or why. I pulled out the bowl etc and lo and behold: she did a number 2! Cool!
Talila got a new dress from a friend yesterday: here is how it looks, together with some other pics taken with my webcam just now. (Other more proper pics are in the works, Mariel is working on transferring to her computer right now.)
Talila likes looking at lights...
Today i biked with Talila for the first time! We were invited to some friends for dinner today, another family with 2 small children with another coming any day now. So on the spur of the moment, i thought, hey, let's bike there! They live about 20 minutes away by bike. So we did. I put T in the sling, zipped up my jacket and off we went. No problem, she slept the whole way.
It was pretty neat when we arrived there, 'cause we could show them first-hand about Natural Infant Hygiene. Talila soon woke up after the bike ride and i held her over the bathroom sink, said "psss" and she peed! Our hosts were impressed.
Cool nr 3: Just 2 hours ago i caught my first poop!
It's been pretty easy to catch certain pees but i have felt alot less sure about the poops.
Well, Talila was lying on my lap lengthwise, and then she started flailing with her arms and legs just a little more than usual. It suddenly occurred to me that she may need to poop. Whipped out the little bowl we have for this, held her in position and gave the cueing "Psss" sound. Nothing. Put her back on the diaper on my lap. Very soon i once again had the feeling "She's gonna poop!" It was quite strong this time although i couldn't explain how or why. I pulled out the bowl etc and lo and behold: she did a number 2! Cool!
Talila got a new dress from a friend yesterday: here is how it looks, together with some other pics taken with my webcam just now. (Other more proper pics are in the works, Mariel is working on transferring to her computer right now.)
Talila likes looking at lights...
fredag 6 mars 2009
Trial
2 am
Here i am up in the middle of the night. I can't sleep. Not because of Talila. Just a strange restlessness in the body.
Tough night last night, i woke up around five times, every time Talila stirred and/or grunted, let alone cried. And especially the last time just couldn't fall back asleep. Woke up feeling like a zombie with zero energy. I gradually came around, thanks in part to coffee.
We went into town later, Mariel had an appointment for therapeutic massage and i went along to take care of Talila in the hope that she wouldn't want to nurse then. As it turned out, she slept the whole time - i had her in the carrying shawl for an hour walking around the area putting up posters for the coming Heart Dance and even doing a big shopping. I was at a Konsum store where you register your purchase yourself with a laser scanner. It was only the second time i did this and i was worried Talila would wake up in the middle of it. But it all went really well.
So the day was fine.
But it was a real ordeal for me during the evening. We started watching a movie ("Slumdog Millionaire", well done though certain parts quite shocking) but Talila was pretty restless, crying for long bouts without us knowing what to do. She didn't want to nurse and she looked tired so that's usually a sign to put her in the carrying sling and bounce her around till she falls asleep.
We discovered recently that by holding her quite tightly against our bodies, she can calm down pretty quickly. Mariel's back is in bad shape so it was up to me this time to put her in the sling and do my best. Only this time it didn't work. Piercing crying going into my brain marrow. Ran downstairs holding her mouth in desparation trying to find my earplugs. Put them in and then literally ran loops around the staircase, bounce her and holding her tight. No go, no stop to the crying. Started singing "Sov du lilla vide ung" and that made her calm down but only for about 5 minutes when she started up again. At my wits end, i pulled her out of the sling and just held her lightly with just her lower torso in contact with me. That fixed it and she fell asleep. I went back upstairs to try to see more of the movie. She woke up after 10 minutes. More crying. Over to Mariel when she finally quieted down to some nursing. I just felt totally numb inside, a bit traumatized. This was really at the limit of endurance for me.
Resurgent feelings of inadequacy, weakness, failure. God, how do people manage this? I look with utter incredulity and amazement at Mariel who seems to be able to deal with this day after day with no end in sight with pretty much good cheer. I definitely need to find some support group for new fathers...
Here i am up in the middle of the night. I can't sleep. Not because of Talila. Just a strange restlessness in the body.
Tough night last night, i woke up around five times, every time Talila stirred and/or grunted, let alone cried. And especially the last time just couldn't fall back asleep. Woke up feeling like a zombie with zero energy. I gradually came around, thanks in part to coffee.
We went into town later, Mariel had an appointment for therapeutic massage and i went along to take care of Talila in the hope that she wouldn't want to nurse then. As it turned out, she slept the whole time - i had her in the carrying shawl for an hour walking around the area putting up posters for the coming Heart Dance and even doing a big shopping. I was at a Konsum store where you register your purchase yourself with a laser scanner. It was only the second time i did this and i was worried Talila would wake up in the middle of it. But it all went really well.
So the day was fine.
But it was a real ordeal for me during the evening. We started watching a movie ("Slumdog Millionaire", well done though certain parts quite shocking) but Talila was pretty restless, crying for long bouts without us knowing what to do. She didn't want to nurse and she looked tired so that's usually a sign to put her in the carrying sling and bounce her around till she falls asleep.
We discovered recently that by holding her quite tightly against our bodies, she can calm down pretty quickly. Mariel's back is in bad shape so it was up to me this time to put her in the sling and do my best. Only this time it didn't work. Piercing crying going into my brain marrow. Ran downstairs holding her mouth in desparation trying to find my earplugs. Put them in and then literally ran loops around the staircase, bounce her and holding her tight. No go, no stop to the crying. Started singing "Sov du lilla vide ung" and that made her calm down but only for about 5 minutes when she started up again. At my wits end, i pulled her out of the sling and just held her lightly with just her lower torso in contact with me. That fixed it and she fell asleep. I went back upstairs to try to see more of the movie. She woke up after 10 minutes. More crying. Over to Mariel when she finally quieted down to some nursing. I just felt totally numb inside, a bit traumatized. This was really at the limit of endurance for me.
Resurgent feelings of inadequacy, weakness, failure. God, how do people manage this? I look with utter incredulity and amazement at Mariel who seems to be able to deal with this day after day with no end in sight with pretty much good cheer. I definitely need to find some support group for new fathers...
tisdag 3 mars 2009
Suffering, the end of suffering and sneezes
11:45 pm
Last night was a real ordeal for mig internally.
Talila started crying in the night and - i just couldn't deal with it. I moved to the guestroom. That could have been the end of it. But i was tormented by thoughts of how i was copping out, jumping ship leaving Mariel behind, that i was so weak and not fit to be a father. What was wrong with me? Etc. etc. Ad nauseum. I felt i was really sinking into a hellish state. Quite heavy to say the least. At the time, my rescue came from focusing on my breathing, bringing me to the now, away from the thoughts. And i soon fell asleep.
Today, i was in a pretty bad mood all morning, with the thoughts of self-loathing hovering around me. Then i suddenly remebered that, hey, they're ONLY THOUGHTS! They have no power to hurt me unless i believe in them as Truth.
"I am a total loser father."
How does it feel to believe such a thought? Pretty awful, i can tell you.
Even all these 'should' thoughts: "I should be more relaxed," or "I should be able to handle disturbed sleep better." They just create anxiety if i take the thoughts as true.
But if i just see that i am as i am, neither a winner nor a loser, neither better nor worse, and just see these thoughts and ideas as, well, just thoughts and ideas, then there is simply no problem anymore. This has been a real insight for me.
---
On a lighter note, Talila is so cute when she sneezes. They always come at least two in quick succession. Then afterwards she makes this totally adorable baby-cooing sound. She hasn't really started "talking" baby-gibberish yet. It's mostly grunts and wheezes and crying so far. But when she is content, she is just totally silent looking around with big wide eyes.
She often likes to look off to the upper left or right when you hold her. It looks as though something's got her attention, but when you then change angles so that she would be looking straight at whatever it could be, she only follows it for an instant then it's back to looking to the upper left (or right). Strange...
Mariel notes that she is much more observant of impending pees and poops when she holds Talila without a diaper or towel. She says that she often gets the excretement signals in time but can be a bit lax if Talila has a diaper or towel under her. So she is now taking the big step of really trusting her instincts and Talila's signals and really having her diaper-free. At least daytime.
Okay time for beddy-bye!
Last night was a real ordeal for mig internally.
Talila started crying in the night and - i just couldn't deal with it. I moved to the guestroom. That could have been the end of it. But i was tormented by thoughts of how i was copping out, jumping ship leaving Mariel behind, that i was so weak and not fit to be a father. What was wrong with me? Etc. etc. Ad nauseum. I felt i was really sinking into a hellish state. Quite heavy to say the least. At the time, my rescue came from focusing on my breathing, bringing me to the now, away from the thoughts. And i soon fell asleep.
Today, i was in a pretty bad mood all morning, with the thoughts of self-loathing hovering around me. Then i suddenly remebered that, hey, they're ONLY THOUGHTS! They have no power to hurt me unless i believe in them as Truth.
"I am a total loser father."
How does it feel to believe such a thought? Pretty awful, i can tell you.
Even all these 'should' thoughts: "I should be more relaxed," or "I should be able to handle disturbed sleep better." They just create anxiety if i take the thoughts as true.
But if i just see that i am as i am, neither a winner nor a loser, neither better nor worse, and just see these thoughts and ideas as, well, just thoughts and ideas, then there is simply no problem anymore. This has been a real insight for me.
---
On a lighter note, Talila is so cute when she sneezes. They always come at least two in quick succession. Then afterwards she makes this totally adorable baby-cooing sound. She hasn't really started "talking" baby-gibberish yet. It's mostly grunts and wheezes and crying so far. But when she is content, she is just totally silent looking around with big wide eyes.
She often likes to look off to the upper left or right when you hold her. It looks as though something's got her attention, but when you then change angles so that she would be looking straight at whatever it could be, she only follows it for an instant then it's back to looking to the upper left (or right). Strange...
Mariel notes that she is much more observant of impending pees and poops when she holds Talila without a diaper or towel. She says that she often gets the excretement signals in time but can be a bit lax if Talila has a diaper or towel under her. So she is now taking the big step of really trusting her instincts and Talila's signals and really having her diaper-free. At least daytime.
Okay time for beddy-bye!
söndag 1 mars 2009
1 month old! Time flies...
7:45 pm
Hi everybody!
Haven't written for a while because Mariel and Talila went up to Dalarna on Friday, will come home tomorrow morning. So it's been quite calm and quiet here.
But she had her 1 month old birthday yesterday! She's a big baby now! She is so incredibly cute and pudgy - and she has a hobbit gene: her ears are furry!
Well, not furry but a little hairy on the edges. :-)
People are starting to ask to see her, so soon i'd like to have friends over....
We have borrowed a big wooden crib and a whole bunch of smaller cloth diapers from some neighbor-friends. Great! Though we can't see much use for the crib for now. We just want to keep her close to us as much as we can. She sleeps in our bed between us, handy for Mariel to nurse when Talila wakes up and wants to eat.
I must say Mariel is so naturally patient, loving and present with Talila: an ideal mommy!
When i get poop or pee on my clothes when holding her i can sometimes get a tad peeved but Mariel is always completely relaxed, laughs and says "My that was a big one!" or something like that.
Over and out.
Hi everybody!
Haven't written for a while because Mariel and Talila went up to Dalarna on Friday, will come home tomorrow morning. So it's been quite calm and quiet here.
But she had her 1 month old birthday yesterday! She's a big baby now! She is so incredibly cute and pudgy - and she has a hobbit gene: her ears are furry!
Well, not furry but a little hairy on the edges. :-)
People are starting to ask to see her, so soon i'd like to have friends over....
We have borrowed a big wooden crib and a whole bunch of smaller cloth diapers from some neighbor-friends. Great! Though we can't see much use for the crib for now. We just want to keep her close to us as much as we can. She sleeps in our bed between us, handy for Mariel to nurse when Talila wakes up and wants to eat.
I must say Mariel is so naturally patient, loving and present with Talila: an ideal mommy!
When i get poop or pee on my clothes when holding her i can sometimes get a tad peeved but Mariel is always completely relaxed, laughs and says "My that was a big one!" or something like that.
Over and out.
onsdag 25 februari 2009
4 weeks old!
kl 2:20
Today Talila is 4 weeks old!
She was at her checkup yesterday and she's gone up 700 g since birth, so now she weighs 4.825 kg. She's a healthy bouncing baby!
Today Talila is 4 weeks old!
She was at her checkup yesterday and she's gone up 700 g since birth, so now she weighs 4.825 kg. She's a healthy bouncing baby!
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