onsdag 25 februari 2009

4 weeks old!

kl 2:20
Today Talila is 4 weeks old!
She was at her checkup yesterday and she's gone up 700 g since birth, so now she weighs 4.825 kg. She's a healthy bouncing baby!

You have to watch your mouth

11:15 am
We are communicating with Talila about potty needs as i mentioned earlier. When we notice her peeing or pooping, we say "S-s-s-s-s-s". When she wakes up from a nap or after nursing, we hold her over a small plastic container and say the cueing sound and often enough, she does pee or poop. It's a long-term process and we don't want to have any stress involved but we see that Elimination Communication does work!
A funny thing happened the other day. Talila was just lying in my lap with a towel under her. Mariel was about to say, "So, [something]" but she started with a drawn out "ssssss" and Talila let it all out!

söndag 22 februari 2009

Smiles and "in-arms"

12:35 pm
When i came in this morning to the bedroom (last night spent in the guest room), and greeted Talila, she smiled! Not just a random thing but several times! Oh, my heart just exploded...

I gave her a bath yesterday, started out alright but then she stopped liking it and started crying. Aaaah! The sound was absolutely excrutiating being in the bathroom with tiled walls! Had to just grab her and run out. Next time i'm using earplugs!

Later Talila slid/fell out of Mariels arms onto the floor. Mariel was sitting on the sofa so it wasn't a long distance and she landed on a rug and no damage done, but oyoyoy she screamed like i've never heard her scream before! Like with every cell of her body... She calmed down pretty soon though, consoled with Mommy's breast.

Mariel discovered this fascinating article today about babies of certain Indians in South America:

Babies of the Yequana tribe, far from needing peace and quiet to go to sleep, snoozed blissfully whenever they were tired, while the men, women, or children carrying them danced, ran, walked, shouted, or paddled canoes. Toddlers played together without fighting or arguing, and they obeyed their elders instantly and willingly.
...
Babes in arms almost never cried and, fascinatingly, did not wave their arms, kick, arch their backs, or flex their hands and feet. They sat quietly in their slings or slept on someone's hip — exploding the myth that babies need to flex to "exercise." They also did not throw up unless extremely ill and did not suffer from colic. ... Without supervision, even the smallest tots rarely hurt themselves. ...
(from www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html)

How is this possible? The author says its because the Indians carry their babies ALL the time from birth to when they start crawling! Really fascinating. We are buying the book The Continuum Concept and are going to look more into this...

Mariel has just come back from her stroll in the winter wonderland.
Signing off!

lördag 21 februari 2009

Mommy's ordeal and an auspicious dream...

12:15 pm
Hi everyone!
Yesterday Mariel was completely wiped out. She had a fever and was practically bed-ridden... We think it was due to "caked breast". If the milk glands aren't properly drained, it can lead to pain, swelling and fever. She had it last week, too. But it turns out that it can also be caused if the breasts get cold as well. The previous night we had taken a lo-ong walk on the ice and maybe they got cold then. Fortunately, Talila was pretty calm, slept alot and was not demanding.
I had to leave her to lead Heart Dance in the evening but our beautiful-souled tenants took care of her.

Had a dream this morning...
I was with Mariel and Talila in a room. Mariel left the room and Talila was sleeping. Then she started speaking in her sleep, she started saying parts of mantras like "Om Namo Bhagavate" ("Praise to the Lord" in Sanskrit). I was utterly fascinated, just noting down what she said and listening for more. Then Mariel and a bunch of other people came back noisily and i told them excitedly about, asking them to quiet down so we could hear more. Then i woke up...

It's so cool to see how she is responding more coherently to the outside world. Her legs have always been pretty strong. When she's on one of our bellies and she wants food, she'll start kicking/swimming her way up the chest grunting in fierce determination. But her arms have been pretty much just flailing around at random when she's awake.
But now this morning, i had her on her back on my knees. When i covered her face with a blankett, she could use her hands and arms to move it away. Did it several times. Cool!

She is such a cuty squishy, pudgy pink thing... I just want to eat her up! Babys for breakfast... Yummy yummy! Her little toes as an appetizer...

tisdag 17 februari 2009

No title

10:25 pm
I know that you would really like to hear from Mariel as well. But her days are pretty much totally filled. She is with Talila 80% of the time. And she really enjoys it! And thank goodness for that! Even if i were able to breast feed Talila, i wouldn't be able to manage the intensity. Mariel has such infinite patience and calm, it's really amazing.

söndag 15 februari 2009

WOW! It really works! + FILM

530 pm Dana here

As i wrote earlier, Mariel and I have been seriously looking into Natural Infant Hygiene (or Elimination Communication as it is also known). It's only in the West that we use nappies (sounds much better than "diapers") as long as we do. In the rest of the world, that is, over 80% of the population, children are totally dry with no need of nappies. This is so intriguing!

Sooo...
From the start, whenever we noticed that Talila had peed, we made a "Sssss" sound. When she pooped, we made a "plupluplup" sound. The idea is that the baby will soon *respond* to the cueing sound so we can get a bowl or potty under her first.

For our part, it's been hard to interpret her signals up to now.... In "Diaper-Free Baby", they suggest trying with wake-up pees first and identifying when she usually poops.
Last night, Mariel caught a poop for the first time in a bowl and today, i managed to get her to pee in a bowl no less than three times so far. This really works This is SO COOL!

She had been sleeping all three times and just woken up mildly agitated, ornery. I just felt, "She needs to pee" so i got the bowl, took off her nappy, lifted her in a squatting position over the bowl and said "Tssssss" and lo and behold: she peed!
-----
Otherwise, i noticed the other day that she has now started following objects with her gaze.
You can see her following the camera on YouTube,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeFHv0G478A
i uploaded a film there taken with my web camera two days ago. (Unfortunately, it has been speeded up for some reason.)
-----
Yesterday was Valentine's day. We had nice quality time, Mariel and i. We even watched a film! Didn't think we would ever have time for that till the baby flew the coop in 18 years. So that was nice to see that it was possible! Talila was mellow the whole time. (We saw "Things We Lost in the Fire" btw, good movie!)

All is well!

torsdag 12 februari 2009

Dairy's a no-no...

12M Dana here
Talila can wake up and want milk during the night and sometimes be up for awhile fidgeting and grunting but it feels pretty natural and okay.
But once last week Mariel drank som hot chocolate with milk in the evening... That night, Talila had a major crying fit that lasted a loong time. She was obviously had tummy pains...
Four days later, Mariel ate some yogurt and again the same story: Talila was in alot of pain that night.
So we have understood now that dairy products are off-limits to Mariel.

Late, time to hit the hay...

tisdag 10 februari 2009

Admiration

I admire Mariel from the depths of my soul that she can take these nights as well as she does. She's a bit sleepy during the day and takes naps but - man! It's a whole other thing for me...

Last night Talila was awake 11.45 pm- ?1.30 am. A bit ornery and restless, grunting, and making small noises, crying a bit, getting milk, being quiet for 5 min then start grunting and squirming again. I sang soft tunes for her a couple times and she calmed down but only for a few minutes. I had to leave the room. Hard to not have a bad conscience for leaving Mariel alone with her....

måndag 9 februari 2009

Our new life

10.45 pm
Dana here.
Our new life is gradually taking shape.
Our day usually begins very late. I often shift over to our guest room in the middle of the night so i am usually up first. I try to do my morning exercises and eat breakfast before Mariel wakes up. When she does, i take care of Talila while she showers and eats breakfast. I sing her my really deep and creative baby songs ("Baby, baby, baby, you're the cutie baby, squishy-wishy, squiggly-wiggly, sweetie baby girl!")

We both like to have her close to us with skin to skin contact. Talila likes it best when she lies on one of our chests, slightly preferably Mommy Mariel, because of her soft pillow breasts. But i'm not far behind! And she likes to suck on my pinky with great vigor.

When she nurses, she often makes these funny little noises that sound like "Help, help!" And then after 5 minutes, starts crying because she swallowed so much air that she has to burp.

Not much more to say, Talila is just absolutely adorable...

fredag 6 februari 2009

Gratitude

7:15 pm - Dana
I am so thankful to Mariel that in spite of her weakness and tiredness, that she doesn't "throw stuff" on me. I admire her ability to express her needs and desires in a matter-of-fact way without pleading, cajoling, admonishing or jibing etc. It makes things so much easier!

I feel torn between wanting to support her and help her and Talila as much as i can yet i need to work to make money as well....
We had a sharing last night and expressed where we were at and i see that there is a tendency in me to "be anxious for the morrow". It is my big lesson to not worry about the future. To simply do what i can and simply trust in Life/God that things will work out. (They always have looking back!)

Mikaela, Mariel's sister is here for the weekend to hang out and help us a bit. Right now she's carrying the baby - here is a picture i just took with my webcamera. When i asked her if she was getting interested herself, she said yeah.

We finally were instructed in a great way to wrap up Talila in the carrying scarf.

Last night she was awake for four hours at a stretch, from 12M to 4 am. Whew! She's turning our days upside down.

Over and out.

torsdag 5 februari 2009

She has a name!!

10:27 pm
Mariel here...
Well, I don't really take the time to write in the blog regularly, but Dana is doing a good job of it and maybe we will just have to settle for that. I am still recovering from the delivery, wasn't expecting to be this tired afterwards. Dana gets to do (pretty much) all of the household duties, and he is doing a good job of it... Hm, maybe sometimes a bit too good? :-)

She is a darling... She eats really well, sleeps a lot, cries as babies should, and is a great blessing in our lives... And now, what many of you have been waiting for. We have settled on her name and we are both very happy about it... And it is... Talila (Tah-LEE-lah). A twist of the Swahili name Dalilah, which means: gentleness, her soul is tender. And it really is.

Ok, now some quality time with my big habib, because the little habib is in deep slumber...

onsdag 4 februari 2009

Visit by nurse Karin and diaper-free consciousness

10.45 pm Dana
When i was working as a math teacher at Martinskolan, i had a 7th grade class whose home-room teacher was Karin Lindeberg. Now we've been thrown into a new constellation. Turns out, she left Martinskolan to work at the anthroposophic Vidar clinic as a children's nurse - and she has been assigned to us! She is very sweet and caring, Mariel and i really appreciated her home visit today.

Last summer, i met a woman with a 1½ year old baby who didn't need diapers. I was fascinated by this and i filmed her impromptu lecture on the subject. Our midwife introduced us to the book "Diaper-Free" which is really well-researched. What the consensus is, is that babies have a natural ability to control their elimination. They don't have words of course, but by tuning in to the baby's other modes of communication ( for example, suddenly stopping nursing, grunting or a certain stretching movement) you can catch them in time with a potty.

Gradually the baby can associate certain cuing noises like "sssss" for pee and, well, maybe "Plplp" for poop.
The whole thing is really fascinating so we're tuning in now to Baby's signals...

A name seems to be shaping up. We're going to test it for a few days first. Will let you all know as sooon as we know for sure!

Love to you all,
Dana
PS It is soooo wonderful to feel her little soft body against my chest...

Here is another photo: The angels of Love, Beauty, Serenity and Wisdom watch over Mommy and Baby.

tisdag 3 februari 2009

Primeval crawl

10:30 am
Dana here again.
Baby is so funny... I have her on my chest this morning while Mariel goes to the bathroom. She is hungry, so she sets out on a determined quest. There's something amphibian or reptilian about it: Like a little crocodile or lizard, grunting, squeaking, gasping, she slowly but methodically crawls, worms, and drags herself higher and higher up my chest looking for that fountain of youth...
Lo! She finds my little finger and Woah! what a suction she has in that little mouth!

måndag 2 februari 2009

Första möte med doktorn

4:10 pm
We borrowed a car and drove in to Baby's first doctor's appointment. She's as "healthy as a nut" - as they say here in Sweden(!)

Names, names, names.... Hmmmmmm....
We went online yesterday for some input and were astounded over the wealth of data available. On Not only can you find name suggestions and what they mean in which language, but you can see statistically how many baby's got that name from 1880 onwards (in the US), surveys with people with the name if they like it, if they got bullied in school(!) and much much more!
Check out for example:
http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/suitability_of_Cleopatra.html

We still haven't decided on anything though i have a favorite.... "What is it?" you're all wondering, "Tell us! Tell us!"
Na-a-a-a-a-w...
:-)

We'll have to decide by Feb 4th, otherwise Swedish law says we must go to jail for a year.
Yikes.

Mesmerizing contact

9:07 am
Yesterday, Mona (Mariel's mom), Roger (her husband), Vicci (sister) and Joel (brother) came by to admire the little miracle.
It was so cool because Baby was awake and content for almost *20* minutes at a stretch. That beats her old record three times over.
This is what makes it all so worth it, to just look into her eyes of such depth and serenity, everyone is just spellbound...

Okay, off to the last appt with our midwifethe and then the first at the baby clinic!

Love to you all,
Dana

söndag 1 februari 2009

First words from Mariel

9:54 pm
Dana is pressuring me to write a few words on the blog. So here I am: alive, exhausted and overjoyed to have received our beautiful baby girl (whom we still haven't named yet).
We've gotten so many congratulations and well-wishes and it's a blessing to feel everyone's support.
The delivery was the most intense and demanding experience I've ever been through - and the most rewarding. Dana was a great support, my sister Tara also and the midwife Diane was very competent and relaxed, not at all intrusive, letting my body and its needs run the show, supporting me to relax and breathe through each painful contraction.

Enough for now, I'm tired.
Thanks everyone for being there for us.
Off to bed!

Torture

Sun 10.45
It's not the being woken up several times during the night which is the problem. It's having to listen to 10-15 min of pretty much nonstop heart-rending piercing Baby crying before she settles down to nurse or go back to sleep. Mariel seems to be 100 times more able than i to deal with this. Yeah, she's tired and all but she told me herself earlier that somehow it's not that hard for her.

Last night it was simply torture for me and i had to leave the bedroom at 4 am. Feelings of being a failure came up. But it is really too much for me. If i was alone with Baby, i would definitely have to get nighttime help. I would rather be a dedicated servant to Mommy and Baby all my waking hours than have to endure the nights like this. Maybe every third night i could do it...
Phew....